Embrace Your Mistakes: Harnessing your Nerves When Speaking

ACA national next week marks the closing of another years Camp Conference season.  As a conference presenter, who regrets not becoming a speaker sooner, public speaking has help me clarify my thinking and connected me to people and ideas I would not have otherwise had access to. Among the people that come up to me after i speak are those that harbor a secret desire to take the stage themselves, to be the one presenting. Though I encourage them to take the plunge, an all-too-common fear holds them back: the fear of embarrassment, of not being perfect. But what if I told you that in the realm of public speaking, it's not the flawless execution but the beautifully human moments of imperfection that truly connect us, and help you get your message across.

Whether we are conducting a staff training, presenting in a meeting, or public speaking at a conference, we often find ourselves aiming for perfection, and feel panicked when we feel that goal slipping away. Yet, it was during a recent mentoring session that I witnessed a remarkable testament to the power of human imperfection. I saw a presenter initially struggle with her PowerPoint, only to emerge more victorious in her audience's eyes. This event not only highlighted her resilience but also beautifully illustrated the pratfall effect in action.

The pratfall effect, a term coined by social psychologist Elliot Aronson in 1966, refers to the paradoxical phenomenon where a person's likability increases if they make a minor mistake. This concept suggests that showing a flaw makes a person appear more relatable and human, thereby enhancing their appeal. It's grounded in the idea that nobody is perfect and witnessing someone else's imperfection can actually endear them to us.

Here the presenters’ initial technical difficulties with PowerPoint were far from a planned part of her presentation. The audience, a mix of young Camp professionals, watched as she struggled to share her screen and display the slides correctly. However, instead of letting this hiccup derail her, she acknowledged the issue with grace and humor. This moment of vulnerability and her ability to laugh at the situation drew us in.  We have all been there.  We get it.

As the presentation progressed, her command over her topic shone through. Her recovery from the technical glitch and her seamless continuation into an engaging, well-articulated presentation worked in her favor. The audience was not only impressed by her expertise but also moved by her resilience and relatability.

Research in this area supports the positive impact of the pratfall effect. Aronson's original experiment involved a person answering a series of quiz questions. When the individual, who was performing well, spilled coffee on themselves, their likability ratings from observers increased. This effect was particularly pronounced when the person was perceived as highly competent; their minor blunder made them more approachable and likable.

However, it's crucial to note that authenticity is key. Attempting to fabricate a pratfall can backfire. The audience's perception of genuineness plays a significant role in how the pratfall effect works. If an error is perceived as contrived, it can lead to a decrease in credibility and likability. The audience can generally sense when a mistake is authentic versus when it is staged, which is why the genuine nature of the presenter's technical difficulties worked in her favor.

This experience serves as a reminder of the beauty and power of imperfection. It highlights that sometimes, it's our ability to navigate and recover from our vulnerabilities that truly resonates with others. In a world that often emphasizes flawlessness, a world where we curate our whole online lives to show perfection, the pratfall effect reminds us that our imperfections can be our strengths, making us more relatable, approachable, and ultimately, more human.  Your mistake is not because you’re an imposter.  It’s because you’re one of us.  Lean it to it and move on. 

So rather than worry what could go wrong.  Think about how you might grow.  Whether its leading your fist camp training, taking the lead in a meeting. Just do it and take the step.  Everyone remembers the first time they had to speak, while others will admire you for doing something they haven’t had the courage to do yet.  Either way “You got this!” and almost everyone has your back.