From Imposter to Influencer

Navigating the World of Management with Confidence

You have worked hard at camp for several summers.  Finally, you have beaten the odds and have secured a year-round camp position that does not pay by the day. You have made it.   

Then you are invited to your first meeting, and while you are sitting there waiting for it to begin you suddenly start to doubt your skills, knowledge, your experience, and you become filled with the overwhelming fear that you are about to be found out. – Welcome to management.  

Imposter syndrome is real (You’re not alone ) I felt it for years. Even after I had proven my success as a manager and camp leader, I would arrive at meetings or conferences and assume that people were better, more successful, and more knowledgeable. [Lesson: Never mistake confidence for competence] 

Imposter syndrome is the better of the two extremes. Feeling like an impostor is preferable to being the person that gets the entry level position and feels they are ready to take on the role of CEO as their next assignment. Never be that person. [See lesson above] 

I was lucky. One of my first “real” jobs was as an entry level civil servant. (We are talking bottom rung; a huge part of my job was opening mail) I worked in the Department of Health as part of the team that supported the Chief Medical Officer. A few weeks after I started, I was unexpectedly invited to participate in a series of increasingly important meetings. The participants were all way above my pay grade, but I had done the work, earned my place, was prepared, and earned my boss's trust. But I didn’t feel any of these things. Walking to our first meeting together, I cracked and told my boss this was a terrible mistake. I had no idea what I was doing and should go home. Calmly he reassured me it would be fine, and I could always say nothing. Which is what I did. 

The meeting seemed to go well; I said almost nothing, and walking back to our office he offered me some unsolicited advice. This would be the first of three or four post meeting walks where he would deliver what would become career changing insight. 

On each walk he would give me pointers on where I had done well, and where I could have represented myself, my thoughts, or my plans better. We talked about choosing the right fight, when to walk my ideas back, and when to stop talking. 

Eventually I would leave the department, but we would see each other, and he would inquire how things were going and tell me what he had heard about my performance and interactions with his peers (people still beyond my pay grade), he followed my career and was both excited and relieved for me when I finally left the government. (His view had always been “I was right for them; they were not the right people for me.” and he was correct) 

So, in no order here is that advice  

Don't Try to Prove How Smart You Are: Recognize that everyone in the room is intelligent, and you were invited because you've earned your place. Focus on contributing to the discussion rather than showing off your knowledge. 

This came after our second meeting.  I had interrupted an important civil servant, which they had taken politely, but I was simply trying to show how much I knew and not to advance the discussion.  Don’t try to show people that you’re smart.  You're far to early in your career to be a Peter Appointment . You are there because you earned your place. 

Accept That You're Not the Smartest Person in the Room: Embrace the fact that no one knows everything. Instead of competing to appear the smartest, use your energy to learn and grow. 

Though very Common, this advice was not actually about me.  I had noticed that during a meeting he had a section in his notes where he wrote down words and concepts.  I asked him what they were.  He told me that they were words he did not understand, or concepts he wasn’t familiar with.  After the meeting he would go and look them up.  This guy was and might be one of the most intelligent people I have ever met.  Yet he accepted that he did not and could not know everything.  While others postured and competed with one and other by using “big” words and obscure references he simply wrote them down and looked them up later.  

The smartest guy in the room is not the one doing the talking but the one listening and taking the notes. 

Avoid Starting with Your Resume: Answer questions or provide input concisely without launching into your entire professional background. People already know you have experience; focus on the issue at hand. 

This one is embarrassing as he slipped me a note in the meeting to make me stop. “Say what you have to say and be concise, nothing more.” I kept the note for years. People know you have experience, that is why you are there. Telling people about your experience makes them question whether you should be there.  

You should instead answer questions or provide input like a newspaper article. The technique is called headlining. Get the important information out up front, provide details next. Most people get this backwards.  

Do not Answer Statements: Avoid the instinct to respond to statements with more statements. Engage in meaningful conversation and dialogue instead. 

If you were raised in the US, you do this and you need to stop. It might be genetic 

If You Have Nothing to Add, Say Nothing: Quality over quantity – make sure your contributions advance the conversation. Smart questions are often more valuable than speaking for the sake of speaking. 

There is terrible advice that says you must make your presence known in a meeting. But seriously if you have nothing to say that advances the conversation then do not say anything. Smart people ask smart questions. If you really feel the need to speak, ask a good question. 

Listen Actively: Pay attention to what others are saying without immediately thinking about your response. Understanding others' perspectives is crucial. 

This is great advice for every setting, especially for people that frequently engage with children, and advice that I have had to be reminded of many times throughout my career. 

Listen for What's Not Being Said: Be attuned to unspoken issues, politics, and taboos within the workplace. Ask questions cautiously and learn as much as you can about unaddressed topics. 

Politics is huge in the workplace. People avoid certain topics. They talk around issues. They do not confront certain ideas, and they do not challenge certain people.  

Look for what is not being said and find out why?  It might be that people do not know the issue exists, or that they do not understand it, or that it is treading on toes, or its taboo.  Read body language.  Is what is being said fitting with how it is being said. 

Ask questions cautiously about what is not being said.  When you leave the meeting and learn everything you can about it.  

Study for the Meeting: Know your numbers and key performance indicators relevant to your role. Familiarize yourself with historical data and trends and become proficient in forecasting. Ask for the agenda in advance. 

Whatever is on on the agenda learn it inside out. It could be Enrollment, Revenue, Expenses, the number of tennis balls in stock, Lolly pop sticks at arts and crafts, but whatever it is learn it and be able to recite them. But do not stop there, learn the historic numbers, know your trends, and know how to forecast.

If it is a Monday read the sports headlines.  I am not a football fan, but I am fluent in whatever happened that weekend, because other people care and are going to talk about. Study for your meeting. 

Take Notes on People: As people introduce themselves create a seating map and jot down names, roles, and what people are wearing. Using people's names and recalling their interests can help build rapport and connections.  

Knowing what a person was wearing also helps, especially if you work with me. I am very visual so I will remember the guy with the food stain on his tie, and you will have to tell me his name.  

By heeding these lessons, I have grown from feeling like an imposter to being a more confident and effective participant in meetings. It is not about proving your worth; it is about contributing value to the conversation and learning along the way.

So, welcome to management. 

TL: DR. 

Transition from imposter syndrome to confident management. Key lessons: focus on meaningful contributions, not proving your worth; accept you don't need to be the smartest; prepare thoroughly for meetings with clarity and conciseness. It's about adding value and growth in management.